Imagine a world where what you did in bed (or out of bed) wasn’t criticized, questioned, or shamed. Unfortunately, this isn’t even possible in fairy tales yet. It seems like many movies and books have helped lay the groundwork for slut-shaming and the concept of ‘“virginity”.
It’s a story as old as time: people judged for having too much sex, having sex too soon, having sex too late, or not having sex at all. We are just getting started. Society continues to make sex (and how you choose to have it or who you have it with) a taboo.
We are done feeling shameful or guilty about how we choose to have sex. Period.
(Winged Wellness actually made a pledge to be more sex-positive, check it out!)
Embracing the sex-positive movement is the first step to destroying societal pressures around sex and sexuality. A positive approach to sex can open a world of possibilities when it comes to sexual health, intimate relationships, and personal growth.
What is Sex Positive?
Many people assume the meaning of the term “sex-positive” is wanting to have sex all the time or being super kinky. And while, yes, you can be sex-positive and love having sex, being sex-positive has nothing to do with how much or little sex you have. Instead, it’s about being open in your approach and thoughts towards sex.
Being sex-positive throws all “moral judgments” out the window and instead prioritizes the individual’s attitude and desires as long as it is healthy and consensual.
Sex-positivity is about feeling comfortable and confident in your sexual identity and behavior. Which, in turn, can allow you to feel more powerful, safe, and exploratory within your sexual experiences.
We’ve rounded up some practices and characteristics most sex-positive people carry.
1. Aren’t Afraid To Talk About Sex
Let’s talk about sex! Being sex-positive is all about being open to learning about sex.
This can be as simple as learning about your body: what turns you on, what you don’t like, and where your boundaries are.
We should not only feel comfortable communicating this to our partner, but we should also be open to listening to what our partner wants.
Questions during sex should feel comfortable and welcome!
2. Practicing Safe Sex
Safe sex encompasses what is important for each partner to feel safe and comfortable during any sexual situation. The best way to practice safe sex starts with laying out your boundaries.
Safe sex practices include anything from using a condom, to talking about sexual history, to regularly getting tested for STDs. Unfortunately, these topics have been taught as being “uncomfortable” or “embarrassing”, but sex positivity aims to diminish this stigma.
Safe sex practices also include discussing the emotional and psychological relationship that each partner has with sex—for example, supporting a partner with a history of sexual abuse or sexual violence.
Consent is sexy and safe. Being a consent queen (or king or royal) starts with knowing what consent actually means. Consent is a mutual agreement between parties who are partaking in sexual activity together. Go a step further and have conversations about consent with family, friends, and partners! Helping educate others can lead to more people embracing sex positivity and safer sex.
3. Respecting Your Relationship With Sex
While sex positivity can be about outward practices, it should also be about how you approach your own relationship with sex. Whether you’re embracing masturbation, exploring sex with a new partner or partners, or don’t experience any sexual feeling at all, feel confident in your attitude towards sex.
Knowing exactly what you want from a sexual experience can take time and exploration. Don’t expect to have it all figured out from the get-go, and what you are into can definitely change over time. While many of us understand the importance of finding ourselves in the realm of interests, hobbies, and career goals, we may leave out finding ourselves sexually.
The stigma around female masturbation is total BS. Women should feel comfortable exploring pleasure and their own bodies.
An alarming amount of women do not understand their own anatomy. Unfortunately, most sex education curriculums are exclusive to all sexual orientations and leave out many of the tools we need to have safe sex! Educate yourself on the difference between your vagina and your vulva? Or where your G-Spot is.
So, get to google searching and browse some sex toys. Exploring yourself sexually can be an empowering and enlightening experience!
4. Not Judging Others
Similar to how you should not feel judgment surrounding your own sexual choices, you should not judge others for their sexual lifestyle or sexuality.
People are turned on by different things and possess different kinks. Never judge what your friends or partners choose or choose not to do in the bedroom as long as it’s safe, healthy, and consensual.
Winged Wellness Embraces Sex Positivity
From the start, Winged Wellness was built to support women in taking back control of their life. Sex positivity is crucial in empowering yourself and those around you!